1 00:00:00,075 --> 00:00:01,238 Previously on Greek... 2 00:00:01,276 --> 00:00:03,367 - Are we in the wrong house? - I'm Lizzi. 3 00:00:03,581 --> 00:00:06,206 I'm gonna be here until ZBZ nationals determines that you girls are back 4 00:00:06,249 --> 00:00:07,537 on the straight and narrow. 5 00:00:07,557 --> 00:00:10,880 I'm sure we'd be doing a lot better if Lizzi hadn't made us dress like this. 6 00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:12,570 We're intentionally being shunned. 7 00:00:12,891 --> 00:00:14,333 Get outta my squad car! 8 00:00:14,427 --> 00:00:16,264 100 hours of community service. 9 00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:19,938 Decide this is going to be a great new semester, and it will be. 10 00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,528 You think I can do that? 11 00:00:21,578 --> 00:00:23,402 We discussed it at the last chapter meeting. 12 00:00:23,470 --> 00:00:25,221 That's right. You weren't there. 13 00:00:25,427 --> 00:00:27,394 - Where's the snow machine? - I'm so sorry. 14 00:00:27,516 --> 00:00:30,562 It's bros and cheesaritos before hos. 15 00:00:30,919 --> 00:00:31,669 I'm gay. 16 00:00:31,706 --> 00:00:33,506 - You know, I can work with that. - You can? 17 00:00:33,545 --> 00:00:35,752 Vitamin and prayer regiment can cure that. 18 00:00:36,089 --> 00:00:38,002 Things have changed, Casey. 19 00:00:38,689 --> 00:00:40,279 You have to accept that. 20 00:00:42,093 --> 00:00:43,968 So you believe we have a future together. 21 00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:46,564 In a world where there's no Casey Cartwright. 22 00:00:50,661 --> 00:00:52,930 Check out the yummy boy buffet. 23 00:00:55,884 --> 00:00:57,571 I don't have much of an appetite. 24 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,563 Casey, we are two newly-single college girls 25 00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:03,153 in a room full of boys and two-for-one drinks. 26 00:01:03,287 --> 00:01:05,199 It will never get better than this. 27 00:01:06,013 --> 00:01:07,966 Please, god, don't let that be true. 28 00:01:07,992 --> 00:01:10,186 Come on, a little flirtation might do you some good. 29 00:01:10,223 --> 00:01:13,548 I'm just not ready to dive back into the cru dating pool. 30 00:01:13,703 --> 00:01:17,022 Not to mention the water's pretty icy for ZBZs. 31 00:01:17,253 --> 00:01:18,266 Okay. 32 00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:24,399 But I can be a great wing woman. 33 00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:26,093 The goose to your Maverick. 34 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:29,410 Well, lock and load. We got two bogeys at 12:00. 35 00:01:31,236 --> 00:01:32,670 What are you doing? 36 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,394 I am waving at cute boys. 37 00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:37,732 There are two guys over there. One of them will have to talk to me. 38 00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:40,739 Okay, Goose, I'm about to eject you from the cockpit. 39 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:43,089 And I just got this top, so I'm gonna take it for a spin. 40 00:01:43,118 --> 00:01:45,836 Hey, ladies, these are from the guys at the bar. 41 00:01:46,244 --> 00:01:49,035 Well, thank you very much, forever 21. 42 00:01:49,155 --> 00:01:50,674 We can't accept these. 43 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,146 Wing woman. Right. 44 00:01:55,138 --> 00:01:56,317 Sorry. My mistake. 45 00:01:56,378 --> 00:01:58,064 These aren't for you. 46 00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:05,272 Looks like they've got the top guns. 47 00:02:08,888 --> 00:02:09,934 Roll call! 48 00:02:10,065 --> 00:02:12,184 All those present, say aye. 49 00:02:12,509 --> 00:02:14,535 - Aye. - Great. Okay. 50 00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:16,370 First order of business. 51 00:02:16,588 --> 00:02:19,377 There appears to have been an unfortunate incident 52 00:02:19,415 --> 00:02:21,890 in the upstairs bathroom that involved corn. 53 00:02:21,936 --> 00:02:23,924 We're gonna need a pledge to clean that up. 54 00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:26,179 Spitter, hey, thanks for volunteering. 55 00:02:26,351 --> 00:02:28,574 I didn't volunteer. I'm just the only one here. 56 00:02:29,785 --> 00:02:31,219 Wherefore art thou pledges? 57 00:02:34,595 --> 00:02:36,976 - Tell me you've come bearing gifts. - Sorry, cap. 58 00:02:37,019 --> 00:02:40,167 No gifts. However, we did bring flowers. 59 00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:43,930 From the Omega Chi front yard! 60 00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:51,001 Well, impressive feat, pledges. 61 00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:53,779 - Wade, I think they're ready. - Time to take it to the next level. 62 00:02:53,819 --> 00:02:54,819 Initiation? 63 00:02:54,931 --> 00:02:57,669 Hey, slow down there, Spitter. You're talkin' at the speed of crazy. 64 00:02:57,708 --> 00:02:59,621 We meant your pledge project. 65 00:02:59,723 --> 00:03:02,433 The hot tub, the back porch, even Vesuvius. 66 00:03:02,554 --> 00:03:05,367 These were all built by prior pledge classes. 67 00:03:05,523 --> 00:03:09,705 This is your chance to write your own chapter in the Kappa Tau history book. 68 00:03:09,865 --> 00:03:12,190 Preferably one with lots of pictures for those of us who don't 69 00:03:12,355 --> 00:03:13,743 care to read too much text. 70 00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:15,022 Can you handle this? 71 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,088 - Yeah... - I said... 72 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,884 - Can you handle this? - Yeah! 73 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,018 There ya go! Hands in! 74 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,131 Kappa... Tau! 75 00:03:25,261 --> 00:03:26,067 Yes! 76 00:03:41,717 --> 00:03:44,751 So please remember that showers longer than three minutes 77 00:03:44,873 --> 00:03:48,937 are strictly prohibited, as Lizzi has so thoughtfully reminded us. 78 00:03:49,124 --> 00:03:51,371 Water's the earth's most precious gift. 79 00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:54,103 And finally, Lizzi also reminded me that 80 00:03:54,145 --> 00:03:55,855 this week is national 81 00:03:55,975 --> 00:03:58,333 ZBZ big sister, little sister week. 82 00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:01,340 Apparently, someone forgot to put it on the calendar. 83 00:04:01,472 --> 00:04:03,346 This week is gonna be so... 84 00:04:03,959 --> 00:04:05,553 - Tense. - Girls, 85 00:04:06,391 --> 00:04:09,749 few relationships are more precious than the one between a big 86 00:04:09,918 --> 00:04:11,061 and her little. 87 00:04:11,262 --> 00:04:13,987 It's like a delicate, fragrant orchid. 88 00:04:14,132 --> 00:04:17,010 And this week, ZBZs across our great Nation 89 00:04:17,201 --> 00:04:18,810 will be pruning their orchids 90 00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:20,501 so they'll blossom forever. 91 00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:21,945 So 92 00:04:22,057 --> 00:04:25,826 tomorrow, we'll be volunteering in pairs at the animal shelter. 93 00:04:25,929 --> 00:04:28,176 Thursday is our double date dash at Dobler's, 94 00:04:28,629 --> 00:04:31,161 and Friday will end the week with a celebratory tea. 95 00:04:31,561 --> 00:04:32,798 Meeting adjourned. 96 00:04:39,548 --> 00:04:42,585 We're not actually going to be participating in this crap, are we? 97 00:04:42,901 --> 00:04:44,725 I keep my orchid pruned. 98 00:04:44,772 --> 00:04:46,563 The events are mandatory. 99 00:04:47,647 --> 00:04:48,843 Rebecca, listen, 100 00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,081 I know 101 00:04:50,201 --> 00:04:51,808 we started our relationship 102 00:04:51,998 --> 00:04:54,792 off on the wrong foot. Mostly because you started out in the wrong bed. 103 00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:57,571 - You really need to get over that. - May I finish? 104 00:04:57,875 --> 00:05:00,300 But you did help out with the prohibition party last week. 105 00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,642 Plus, with Evan and Frannie 106 00:05:02,695 --> 00:05:05,090 out of the picture, hating you seems less necessary. 107 00:05:05,184 --> 00:05:07,070 And since we have to spend this week together, 108 00:05:07,188 --> 00:05:09,101 I was thinking we might try and be. 109 00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:09,974 Friends? 110 00:05:10,966 --> 00:05:12,749 I was going for non-enemies. 111 00:05:12,886 --> 00:05:14,480 See you at the shelter tomorrow. 112 00:05:21,515 --> 00:05:22,821 Hey, Fellas. 113 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,422 - You need help? - No. 114 00:05:26,962 --> 00:05:28,725 Go show your pledge brothers how to hack. 115 00:05:30,308 --> 00:05:31,920 I don't know how to hack. 116 00:05:40,409 --> 00:05:41,271 Nice. 117 00:05:47,675 --> 00:05:48,556 Dude... 118 00:05:52,718 --> 00:05:53,714 All right. 119 00:05:54,383 --> 00:05:55,583 Gather around the porch. 120 00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,599 All right, before you embark on your pledge project voyage, 121 00:05:58,922 --> 00:06:01,548 me and the Wadester got a little, special treat. 122 00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:02,890 A gift, if you will, 123 00:06:03,010 --> 00:06:05,706 that we think will get you pumped about your journey. 124 00:06:05,819 --> 00:06:06,678 Wade? 125 00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:17,562 In the pantheon of kt greats, 126 00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:20,078 one man but stands alone. 127 00:06:20,302 --> 00:06:22,870 I'm proud to call him my big brother. 128 00:06:23,002 --> 00:06:24,670 That's right. You guessed it. 129 00:06:24,726 --> 00:06:27,838 Here he is. Egyptian Joe! 130 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,171 Touching stuff, cap. 131 00:06:36,478 --> 00:06:38,885 Wade, if you could turn down the music a hair. 132 00:06:39,005 --> 00:06:40,467 I still wanna hear it, though. 133 00:06:40,781 --> 00:06:42,318 This song slays. 134 00:06:42,821 --> 00:06:43,665 So... 135 00:06:44,883 --> 00:06:46,214 In'99, 136 00:06:46,608 --> 00:06:49,661 40 years of pledge project sweat 137 00:06:49,781 --> 00:06:52,402 culminated in Vesuvius. 138 00:06:52,524 --> 00:06:55,733 A pyrotechnic marvel so sublime that it birthed 139 00:06:55,845 --> 00:06:57,868 this school's sweetest rager. 140 00:06:58,695 --> 00:06:59,707 You know... 141 00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:03,562 The volcano wasn't the only thing blown that night. 142 00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,997 We blew minds. 143 00:07:06,266 --> 00:07:07,512 Melted hearts. 144 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:11,291 And in the hot, hot heat of legendary accomplishment I became. 145 00:07:13,945 --> 00:07:14,789 Right. 146 00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:16,500 So... 147 00:07:16,872 --> 00:07:19,104 After we made Vesuvius, 148 00:07:19,224 --> 00:07:22,614 my pledge bros and I forged the ultimate bond. 149 00:07:23,588 --> 00:07:24,465 Maybe 150 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,906 you can enjoy a bond like that too. 151 00:07:27,371 --> 00:07:29,808 But nobody expects you to equal Vesuvius. 152 00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:31,116 I mean, I don't. 153 00:07:31,257 --> 00:07:33,319 We expect you to top it! 154 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,066 Yeah! 155 00:07:42,814 --> 00:07:44,089 My answer is yes. 156 00:07:44,566 --> 00:07:46,553 Was the question... 157 00:07:47,135 --> 00:07:48,534 Wanna get naked? 158 00:07:48,904 --> 00:07:50,704 You asked if I'd go on a date with you. 159 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:52,871 I've given it some thought, and 160 00:07:53,002 --> 00:07:55,213 I'm ready. Let's take this public. 161 00:07:55,551 --> 00:07:56,395 Way public. 162 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,892 Like, let's go outside and make out on the ZBZ lawn. 163 00:08:00,902 --> 00:08:02,796 Oddly arousing, but 164 00:08:02,974 --> 00:08:04,624 methinks there are 165 00:08:04,841 --> 00:08:06,677 ulterior motives afoot. 166 00:08:11,317 --> 00:08:15,289 I want you to know that the way I feel about you has nothing to do with Casey. 167 00:08:15,439 --> 00:08:18,225 Who, by the way, did something really scary today. 168 00:08:18,992 --> 00:08:20,809 - What? - She was... 169 00:08:21,371 --> 00:08:22,308 nice. 170 00:08:23,516 --> 00:08:24,470 To me. 171 00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:29,596 - Un-freaking-believable. - Will you be serious? 172 00:08:29,656 --> 00:08:30,957 What's the big deal? 173 00:08:31,006 --> 00:08:32,912 If you and Casey sign a peace treaty, 174 00:08:33,032 --> 00:08:35,612 it will be so much easier for us 175 00:08:35,803 --> 00:08:37,537 to have diplomatic relations. 176 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:41,263 Maybe you're right. I'm being stupid. 177 00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:44,567 I know. Why don't you make nice with Evan Chambers? 178 00:08:44,602 --> 00:08:45,958 Point taken. 179 00:08:46,396 --> 00:08:49,364 I just didn't want people to think that I was dating you to get to her. 180 00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:52,337 Now she's all nice and smiley. Once she finds out about us, 181 00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:55,057 she's gonna hate me again, restoring peace and harmony to the universe. 182 00:08:55,695 --> 00:08:57,307 You are such a romantic. 183 00:09:02,906 --> 00:09:04,006 Trust me. 184 00:09:04,537 --> 00:09:07,875 I'm so ready to walk out that door instead of climbing out the window. 185 00:09:08,957 --> 00:09:11,324 Bu-bu-bu... well, okay, before we. 186 00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:15,224 Before we face the paparazzi, I need to tell Casey. 187 00:09:15,584 --> 00:09:16,759 I owe her that. 188 00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:19,700 I know you wanna make her hate you, but 189 00:09:19,996 --> 00:09:21,159 I don't. 190 00:09:21,271 --> 00:09:23,690 You're the one who suggested we stop hiding. 191 00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:25,409 Casey and I have a past. 192 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:27,959 But we... 193 00:09:29,998 --> 00:09:31,098 We have a future. 194 00:09:31,932 --> 00:09:32,757 Fine. 195 00:09:34,576 --> 00:09:36,995 But this is the last time I'm doing this, Rapunzel. 196 00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:50,067 - Calvin? - Hey. 197 00:09:51,189 --> 00:09:52,275 Two questions. 198 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,125 One, is Rusty here, and two... 199 00:09:56,084 --> 00:09:56,946 You knit? 200 00:09:57,149 --> 00:09:59,140 Two answers. No and yes. 201 00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:02,827 Knitting increases hand-eye coordination and requires complex math. 202 00:10:03,265 --> 00:10:05,721 Okay. Just tell him I stopped by, all right? 203 00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:08,142 Hey, have you given any more thought to my offer? 204 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,084 Your offer? 205 00:10:09,121 --> 00:10:11,877 To guide you back to the warm embrace of heterosexuality. 206 00:10:12,035 --> 00:10:15,169 - Yeah... no. - I got a lot of free time on my hands. 207 00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:18,026 I could read up on the latest methods of conversion therapy. 208 00:10:18,146 --> 00:10:20,672 Just, just let me help you choose a better path. 209 00:10:20,774 --> 00:10:23,351 - And I'm not judging you. - So I chose to be gay. 210 00:10:23,486 --> 00:10:25,451 I know that sin can be very seductive. 211 00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,672 Thus my three pop-up blockers. 212 00:10:27,811 --> 00:10:30,905 So you think because I'm gay I wanna be straight? 213 00:10:31,925 --> 00:10:35,262 See, with that sense of humor, you're gonna be very popular with the ladies. 214 00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,439 Just let me fix you. 215 00:10:38,884 --> 00:10:40,040 Okay, Dale. 216 00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:42,033 If you think you can fix me, I'll let you. 217 00:10:42,054 --> 00:10:45,279 All right. My room, 6:00 tomorrow. Your journey begins. 218 00:10:45,429 --> 00:10:47,412 Our journey begins, my friend. 219 00:10:48,109 --> 00:10:49,140 Our journey. 220 00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:56,035 Don't worry. I can cure you of that. 221 00:10:57,481 --> 00:10:59,393 What about Warren? 222 00:10:59,548 --> 00:11:01,419 He eats like a caveman. Zach? 223 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:02,532 Republican. 224 00:11:02,757 --> 00:11:05,190 My phone's spent. Isn't there anyone you're into? 225 00:11:05,609 --> 00:11:07,076 There is this hot foreign exchange 226 00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:09,288 student that winked at me today in class. 227 00:11:09,449 --> 00:11:11,774 Hopefully, that's not an insult in his culture. 228 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,836 Where's he from? 229 00:11:15,264 --> 00:11:17,082 Hotmanistan. 230 00:11:18,127 --> 00:11:20,976 You're way zen about the date dash. Because I'm going solo. 231 00:11:20,994 --> 00:11:23,169 I've got way too much on my plate running Zeta Beta. 232 00:11:23,226 --> 00:11:25,344 The last thing I need to worry about is finding a date. 233 00:11:25,382 --> 00:11:26,610 Evening, ladies. 234 00:11:26,789 --> 00:11:27,783 Cappie! 235 00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:29,577 What timing. 236 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,053 Okay, I'll see you back at the house. 237 00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:38,032 - Nice vest. - Yeah, makes me feel official. 238 00:11:38,201 --> 00:11:39,458 Actually, I was... 239 00:11:39,624 --> 00:11:43,016 I just finished up with my community service, and I was hoping we could chat 240 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,518 about dating. 241 00:11:45,619 --> 00:11:47,228 I think I know where this is going. 242 00:11:47,348 --> 00:11:50,809 Listen, Cap, I totally owe you for the party last week. 243 00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,657 You were a really good... friend. 244 00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:54,932 Thanks. 245 00:11:55,302 --> 00:11:56,796 And as friends, 246 00:11:57,504 --> 00:11:59,300 I just wanna let you know that... 247 00:11:59,604 --> 00:12:00,767 I'm dating someone. 248 00:12:01,185 --> 00:12:02,235 You are? 249 00:12:04,644 --> 00:12:06,950 S, so, who's the Lucky lady? 250 00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:09,222 Rebecca. 251 00:12:09,907 --> 00:12:10,969 Rebecca who? 252 00:12:11,445 --> 00:12:12,463 Rebecca Logan. 253 00:12:16,326 --> 00:12:17,676 My little sis... 254 00:12:19,269 --> 00:12:20,269 That's. 255 00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:22,508 Fantastic. 256 00:12:23,015 --> 00:12:25,056 - Are you cool with this? - The coolest. 257 00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:26,454 I. I'm like a... 258 00:12:26,771 --> 00:12:27,747 Polar ice cap. 259 00:12:28,065 --> 00:12:31,140 I mean, Rebecca, she's just so warm and Fuzzy. 260 00:12:31,257 --> 00:12:33,100 Like global warming. 261 00:12:33,242 --> 00:12:35,002 You know, look at the time. 262 00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:36,271 I. I gotta run. 263 00:12:36,308 --> 00:12:38,294 Can't... can't miss to catch a predator. 264 00:12:38,463 --> 00:12:40,767 It's really good to stay informed. 265 00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:44,959 - Casey, are you sure you're. - So excited... for you. 266 00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:46,841 So excited. 267 00:12:50,902 --> 00:12:53,246 Okay, guys, pledge class project. 268 00:12:53,361 --> 00:12:54,461 Any ideas? 269 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,447 - Got one. - Pickle. 270 00:12:57,093 --> 00:13:00,322 All right. We could wire the Tri-Pi showers with web cams? 271 00:13:00,899 --> 00:13:03,868 And end up defending ourselves to Nancy Grace? Don't think so. 272 00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:05,829 I got an idea. 273 00:13:07,432 --> 00:13:08,665 We could make 274 00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:10,986 a Kappa Tau video game. 275 00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:14,541 We can design different characters for each brother 276 00:13:14,732 --> 00:13:17,061 - and maybe put in a few Easter eggs. - Dude, 277 00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:20,537 none of us know anything about computer programming or video game design. 278 00:13:20,597 --> 00:13:21,385 But... 279 00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:23,213 But... brad, I could teach you. 280 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:27,343 Gonzo's got a good point, Spitter. The project sounds a little ambitious. 281 00:13:27,477 --> 00:13:29,551 Gonzo? When did you get that nickname? 282 00:13:29,723 --> 00:13:32,428 When we watched muppets take Manhattan in the hotel. 283 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,257 On our pledge trip to the mall of America. 284 00:13:36,369 --> 00:13:37,644 You went on a pledge trip. 285 00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:40,648 Without me? 286 00:13:40,852 --> 00:13:41,817 Yeah... 287 00:13:41,936 --> 00:13:44,611 We tried calling you, but you dealing with some Jen K. 288 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:48,190 Cris by dropping singles at a strip club with the brothers. 289 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:52,741 Now, what I was thinking was 290 00:13:52,861 --> 00:13:54,244 what can we do, 291 00:13:54,544 --> 00:13:56,136 minimum amount of effort, 292 00:13:56,273 --> 00:13:58,838 that will produce maximum fun? 293 00:14:00,462 --> 00:14:01,558 Two words. 294 00:14:02,035 --> 00:14:03,604 Tire swing. 295 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,727 Yeah, man. 296 00:14:07,891 --> 00:14:09,635 I, that's. I don't. 297 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:12,703 I don't think that's what Cappie was talking about. 298 00:14:15,641 --> 00:14:17,499 Never mind. Never mind. 299 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:22,642 Hey, Casey. 300 00:14:25,403 --> 00:14:28,525 I'm having a bad day. Could we just skip to the tender moment? 301 00:14:29,177 --> 00:14:31,557 - Forget it. - Fine, fine. 302 00:14:31,728 --> 00:14:34,724 We'll do the whole thing. What's wrong? 303 00:14:36,105 --> 00:14:37,943 My entire pledge class hates me. 304 00:14:38,943 --> 00:14:40,274 Okay, you know what? 305 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,191 Have a seat on your throne, drama queen. 306 00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,018 I'm serious. 307 00:14:46,549 --> 00:14:48,964 It wasn't until we started working on this pledge project 308 00:14:49,039 --> 00:14:51,908 that I realized they have this whole life going on without me. 309 00:14:52,215 --> 00:14:54,052 They pull pranks on omega chis. 310 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,154 - They went to the Mall of America. - Okay, 311 00:14:56,293 --> 00:14:59,486 so you're not Mr. Popularity. You never were in high school. 312 00:14:59,993 --> 00:15:03,092 This should feel comfortable, like putting on an old, musty sweater. 313 00:15:03,296 --> 00:15:06,839 Casey, these are my pledge brothers. Right now it's like we're a boy band... 314 00:15:07,825 --> 00:15:09,063 And I'm the fat one. 315 00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:12,137 It's pronounced "fa-tone". 316 00:15:13,043 --> 00:15:16,365 If I were one of your pledges, what would you tell me to do? 317 00:15:16,538 --> 00:15:17,847 Well, 318 00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:20,097 I would encourage you to 319 00:15:20,193 --> 00:15:22,800 try and make a good impression... Perhaps by 320 00:15:22,947 --> 00:15:24,278 giving a handmade gift. 321 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:29,589 People are always impressed when you take the time to personalize. 322 00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:31,224 Casey, I'm in a fraternity. 323 00:15:31,311 --> 00:15:34,404 You wouldn't be if you were one of my pledges. Now, I'm crazy late. 324 00:15:34,657 --> 00:15:35,889 Listen, just 325 00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:38,522 make a sincere effort, and I'm sure 326 00:15:38,756 --> 00:15:40,369 they'll give you a second chance. 327 00:15:51,453 --> 00:15:54,285 Calvin, welcome to a very special purity pledge meeting. 328 00:16:02,516 --> 00:16:05,027 You'll have to excuse Sanjay. He's never seen a... 329 00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:06,652 Gay in the wild before. 330 00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:08,177 I have. 331 00:16:10,701 --> 00:16:12,138 My mom's in real estate. 332 00:16:13,934 --> 00:16:15,547 So what are you guys doing here? 333 00:16:15,722 --> 00:16:18,380 Well, communication is key to the conversion process. 334 00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:19,598 This is a safe room 335 00:16:19,655 --> 00:16:22,992 where everyone's comfortable talking about their deepest, darkest yearnings. 336 00:16:23,073 --> 00:16:24,591 So let me get this straight. 337 00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:26,724 You mean let us get you straight. 338 00:16:29,180 --> 00:16:29,947 Funny. 339 00:16:30,158 --> 00:16:32,765 You guys get together every week. 340 00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:34,528 You talk about your feelings. 341 00:16:34,741 --> 00:16:36,652 And you don't have sex with women. 342 00:16:39,973 --> 00:16:41,092 Sign me up. 343 00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:50,950 Hey, little sis. Ready to bond? 344 00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,459 Wait a sec. 345 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,680 - Have you talked to Cappie? - You mean your new squeeze? 346 00:16:55,793 --> 00:16:58,329 I did. Though he's not quite new. 347 00:16:58,467 --> 00:16:59,761 More used. 348 00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:02,092 Are you guys the Zeta Beta Zeta sorority? 349 00:17:08,782 --> 00:17:09,920 That's us! 350 00:17:14,394 --> 00:17:15,585 There's so many of you. 351 00:17:15,623 --> 00:17:17,725 I'm Jonah, your canine care specialist. 352 00:17:18,088 --> 00:17:20,160 I'm Casey Cartwright, Zeta Beta President. 353 00:17:20,235 --> 00:17:22,073 So what do you need us to do? 354 00:17:22,205 --> 00:17:23,967 Feed them, play fetch? 355 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:27,384 Rub their teeny, tiny tummies? 356 00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:29,474 These kids are getting dewormed. 357 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:32,931 Not by you though. 358 00:17:33,209 --> 00:17:34,972 I got something even better for you guys. 359 00:17:36,351 --> 00:17:37,495 Meet Philip. 360 00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:39,336 Just rescued yesterday. 361 00:17:39,503 --> 00:17:42,878 He's a total softie, but he looks like he eats babies. 362 00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:45,579 People don't adopt dogs that eat babies. 363 00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:50,027 I bet if you could get his hair to look half as good as yours, 364 00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:52,374 he'd be adopted by today. 365 00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,453 Whew. 366 00:18:00,733 --> 00:18:03,150 Look at us... Washing dogs. 367 00:18:04,975 --> 00:18:05,875 Hey! 368 00:18:07,196 --> 00:18:08,134 Sorry. 369 00:18:08,499 --> 00:18:09,606 Just admit it. 370 00:18:09,659 --> 00:18:12,584 The fact that I'm dating Cappie's eating you up inside. 371 00:18:12,945 --> 00:18:14,945 I wish you both nothing but happiness. 372 00:18:15,586 --> 00:18:19,124 Thank goodness, because I'm bringing Cappie with me to the double date dash. 373 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,160 - I didn't want it to be awkward. - No! 374 00:18:21,661 --> 00:18:23,198 No, I, it won't be. 375 00:18:23,681 --> 00:18:24,750 Awkward. 376 00:18:28,504 --> 00:18:30,166 Cap, Joe. 377 00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:33,676 Spitter, I'm so excited, I cannot wait for the big reveal. 378 00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:36,714 It's like Extreme Makeover, Fraternity Edition. 379 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:38,840 Let's do this. 380 00:18:39,963 --> 00:18:41,044 Brothers, 381 00:18:41,385 --> 00:18:45,304 our pledge class has toiled nonstop to bring you the best 382 00:18:45,565 --> 00:18:48,809 in backyard fun. We're proud to present to you... 383 00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:51,198 The swing-a-ling. 384 00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:58,505 - Sweet! - Me first. 385 00:18:58,883 --> 00:18:59,871 Yeah. 386 00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:11,479 I'll be in my volcano. 387 00:19:21,246 --> 00:19:22,458 The swing-a-ling? 388 00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:24,986 Yeah, catchy name for a Crappy product. 389 00:19:25,086 --> 00:19:26,730 What is this, an infomercial? 390 00:19:26,955 --> 00:19:29,010 Start over. Do better. 391 00:19:34,336 --> 00:19:35,405 Okay, okay. 392 00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:41,552 Well, that's the most action I've gotten in months. 393 00:19:41,608 --> 00:19:43,484 Remind me again why I can't just hit her. 394 00:19:43,926 --> 00:19:45,674 Because you're over Cappie, remember? 395 00:19:45,675 --> 00:19:47,881 Have to float above it, and you can't let it get to you. 396 00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:49,692 I need a date, ASAP. 397 00:19:49,739 --> 00:19:51,736 She's bringing Cappie to the double date dash. 398 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,162 - I thought weren't ready for dating. - It's not a date. 399 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,000 It's... a defensive maneuver. 400 00:19:56,793 --> 00:20:00,426 Okay. Well, there's the delta rho with the eight-pack. 401 00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:02,236 Or the Tri-Nu. 402 00:20:03,209 --> 00:20:05,833 Since the article, those houses treat us like we're radioactive. 403 00:20:06,313 --> 00:20:08,002 Does Hotmanistan have a roommate? 404 00:20:08,245 --> 00:20:09,295 I could ask. 405 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,091 We communicate through hand gestures. So it might take a while. 406 00:20:14,122 --> 00:20:16,949 I need someone fresh and exciting, 407 00:20:17,252 --> 00:20:21,098 a man so juicy that people'll forget Cappie and Rebecca are at the party. 408 00:20:41,693 --> 00:20:44,797 - This sucks, man. - Come on, guys. We can do this. 409 00:20:45,768 --> 00:20:49,132 I think I have a solution, but it all relies on Spitter. 410 00:20:50,398 --> 00:20:51,398 Great. 411 00:20:52,444 --> 00:20:55,011 I know this video game could rock. 412 00:20:55,597 --> 00:20:58,475 Not the video game. You have to get us out of this. 413 00:20:59,065 --> 00:21:02,238 - Me? - Cappie thinks you poop pearls. 414 00:21:02,975 --> 00:21:05,401 You have to talk him into letting us off the hook. 415 00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:08,730 I think Cappie wants us to work together to come up with something great. 416 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,022 Yeah, and we did. 417 00:21:11,534 --> 00:21:14,277 The swing-a-ling. We need you to convince him it was good enough. 418 00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:17,321 We're counting on you. 419 00:21:27,426 --> 00:21:29,380 How you feeling? Any less gay today? 420 00:21:31,501 --> 00:21:34,031 Still pretty gay. In fact, you know, last night, 421 00:21:34,151 --> 00:21:36,406 I had the most vivid dream of Anderson Cooper... 422 00:21:36,526 --> 00:21:38,722 Let's just try a new technique, shall we? 423 00:21:41,072 --> 00:21:42,217 Macho wear? 424 00:21:42,945 --> 00:21:45,738 - Where'd you get this? - Somehow I got on their mailing list. 425 00:21:45,858 --> 00:21:48,287 But their boxer briefs are actually quite comfortable. 426 00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:49,566 They do look snug. 427 00:21:50,363 --> 00:21:51,959 So what I need you to do 428 00:21:52,288 --> 00:21:53,685 is flip through the catalog 429 00:21:53,805 --> 00:21:55,990 and stop whenever you see a man you find attractive. 430 00:21:57,820 --> 00:21:58,947 Sounds fun. 431 00:22:00,689 --> 00:22:02,406 My, my. He's nice. 432 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:05,225 What the... 433 00:22:07,288 --> 00:22:09,648 Just take a deep breath. It's aversion therapy. 434 00:22:09,768 --> 00:22:13,340 We have to link the stink of this rotten banana peel to your attraction to men. 435 00:22:13,601 --> 00:22:16,885 This is ridiculous. Why does it bother you so much that I'm gay? 436 00:22:17,156 --> 00:22:19,437 Because you deserve to be happy. How can you be 437 00:22:19,557 --> 00:22:21,515 knowing you're not going to heaven? 438 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:24,935 So you know for a fact gay people aren't on the invite list. 439 00:22:26,373 --> 00:22:28,559 They teach you that the first year of bible school. 440 00:22:28,679 --> 00:22:31,734 It says in Leviticus "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female". 441 00:22:31,988 --> 00:22:34,278 - I've read Leviticus. - You have? 442 00:22:34,707 --> 00:22:36,155 - Have you? - Of course. 443 00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:39,616 Then you know that it prohibits people from getting tattoos, right? 444 00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,619 And from eating shellfish, from wearing clothes with mixed fabrics. 445 00:22:43,397 --> 00:22:45,873 Call me crazy, but that shirt looks like a poly/cotton blend. 446 00:22:47,389 --> 00:22:49,710 I don't have time to debate the scriptures with you. 447 00:22:49,973 --> 00:22:52,730 But I'm gonna leave this here for you to practice. 448 00:23:02,409 --> 00:23:04,091 So how did you two meet? 449 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,050 I strooped him. 450 00:23:08,685 --> 00:23:11,893 The stroop task. It was a psych test. She was my proctor. 451 00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,141 I see. 452 00:23:13,451 --> 00:23:15,986 - First we played proctor, then... - Could you... 453 00:23:16,971 --> 00:23:19,069 excuse me for a moment? 454 00:23:25,753 --> 00:23:27,470 Save me from Frankencouple. 455 00:23:28,788 --> 00:23:30,038 How's your date? 456 00:23:30,314 --> 00:23:32,544 - He's très romantique. - So he's French? 457 00:23:33,548 --> 00:23:36,650 - He definitely kisses that way. - Maybe he's carrying his passport 458 00:23:36,770 --> 00:23:38,050 in that fanny pack. 459 00:23:38,573 --> 00:23:41,608 I think it's cute. Plus, it keeps his hands free. 460 00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:44,788 I'm such a horndog. 461 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,604 I am so, so sorry I'm late. 462 00:23:58,454 --> 00:24:00,604 It was really busy at the shelter. 463 00:24:02,630 --> 00:24:04,326 We rescued this litter of kittens, 464 00:24:04,729 --> 00:24:06,870 and I had to bottle-feed them dinner. 465 00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:11,265 Saving kittens. Isn't Jonah amazing? 466 00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:12,878 Amazing. 467 00:24:16,543 --> 00:24:20,201 Speaking of kittens, I saw this video on YouTube where this... 468 00:24:20,579 --> 00:24:24,013 this cat just would not stop sucking on this guy's nipple. 469 00:24:29,558 --> 00:24:31,882 Internet's insane. Thank God. 470 00:24:35,385 --> 00:24:38,487 Greetings from your friendly neighborhood party patrol. 471 00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:41,029 I'm gonna need to see some ids before I let you have those beers. 472 00:24:44,069 --> 00:24:45,534 It's for your own protection. 473 00:24:51,473 --> 00:24:52,473 Name? 474 00:24:52,722 --> 00:24:55,028 - Jonah Perkins. - Eye color hazel. 475 00:24:58,459 --> 00:24:59,776 And beautiful. 476 00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:04,701 - And an organ donor. - Of course. 477 00:25:08,209 --> 00:25:09,267 Enjoy. 478 00:25:16,584 --> 00:25:17,625 Refreshing. 479 00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:30,878 You down here? 480 00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:37,544 You gotta knock, man. 481 00:25:38,586 --> 00:25:40,923 Well, come on in. Hang out for a bit. 482 00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:46,770 Grab a bag. 483 00:25:50,059 --> 00:25:53,007 "Fro-Below. Shampoo for your privates." 484 00:25:53,528 --> 00:25:54,778 I'm an inventor. 485 00:25:56,580 --> 00:25:58,230 How's that workin' out? 486 00:25:58,635 --> 00:25:59,985 It's a good life. 487 00:26:00,105 --> 00:26:02,012 All purple mountain majesty. 488 00:26:02,239 --> 00:26:05,781 A lotta guys my age are anchored to, like, family or rent payments. 489 00:26:06,122 --> 00:26:07,272 I go wherever. 490 00:26:08,061 --> 00:26:09,223 Tropics... 491 00:26:09,726 --> 00:26:11,616 Deserts. Back to Kappa Tau. 492 00:26:11,772 --> 00:26:13,940 Have fun, share my wisdom. 493 00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:17,026 Check in on my Vesuvius. Speaking of... 494 00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:21,328 Who installed the atmospheric destabilizer? 495 00:26:24,258 --> 00:26:25,316 Me. 496 00:26:25,836 --> 00:26:27,068 Nice. 497 00:26:29,051 --> 00:26:30,472 Can I make you a sandwich? 498 00:26:31,565 --> 00:26:33,615 That's okay. I'm not really... 499 00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:37,925 What are you doing down here? 500 00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:40,147 I'm looking for Cappie. 501 00:26:40,752 --> 00:26:44,218 My pledge brothers wanted me to talk to him about the swing-a-ling... 502 00:26:44,338 --> 00:26:45,657 Maybe sell it more. 503 00:26:45,777 --> 00:26:48,674 Me and my pledge bros had a crap first effort too. 504 00:26:48,794 --> 00:26:50,441 So I made Vesuvius. 505 00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:54,204 You gotta step up. That's what's wrong with the world. 506 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:57,185 But weren't your pledge brothers mad that you did it without them? 507 00:26:57,305 --> 00:26:59,872 Hell, no. They loved me. I made us legends. 508 00:27:00,916 --> 00:27:04,262 A man with a big-ass brain like yours needs to take the wheel 509 00:27:04,401 --> 00:27:06,174 and drive 'em to the Promised Land. 510 00:27:07,415 --> 00:27:09,790 - I don't know. - Innovators walk alone. 511 00:27:10,761 --> 00:27:13,259 Do your own thing. Slap their names on it, 512 00:27:13,432 --> 00:27:14,808 and reap in the benefits. 513 00:27:15,059 --> 00:27:17,227 And by benefits... I mean women. 514 00:27:20,435 --> 00:27:22,085 What about your speech? 515 00:27:22,585 --> 00:27:23,920 The forged bonds. 516 00:27:24,506 --> 00:27:26,961 Cappie asked me to throw in some stuff about... 517 00:27:27,081 --> 00:27:28,946 bonding or blah, blah, blah. 518 00:27:29,657 --> 00:27:31,876 I love Cappie, but he's an idealist. 519 00:27:32,396 --> 00:27:34,046 You gotta be a realist. 520 00:27:34,596 --> 00:27:36,846 The pledges'll thank you in the end. 521 00:27:39,572 --> 00:27:41,022 Now eat your salmon. 522 00:27:45,176 --> 00:27:47,626 I hope to one day become a veterinarian. 523 00:27:50,759 --> 00:27:52,911 People are so concerned about human health care. 524 00:27:56,016 --> 00:27:58,219 Did you know that dogs and humans 525 00:27:58,704 --> 00:28:01,045 are the only two mammals with a prostate? 526 00:28:03,001 --> 00:28:04,007 Kiss me. 527 00:28:13,789 --> 00:28:15,439 How 'bout another drink? 528 00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:18,922 I gotta drive home. 529 00:28:19,221 --> 00:28:20,971 How 'bout just one for me? 530 00:28:49,910 --> 00:28:52,804 Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Lord today. 531 00:28:53,046 --> 00:28:55,770 - I haven't gone to sleep yet. - Is something due? 532 00:28:55,890 --> 00:28:58,439 Relax. I'm working on my pledge project. 533 00:28:58,717 --> 00:29:00,937 You pulled an all-nighter for fraternity homework? 534 00:29:01,925 --> 00:29:03,191 I've designed... 535 00:29:03,936 --> 00:29:05,191 a homemade video game. 536 00:29:05,528 --> 00:29:07,253 It's called Kappa Tau-tris. 537 00:29:07,769 --> 00:29:10,905 It's like Tetris, but the shapes are all things from the house. Try it. 538 00:29:15,492 --> 00:29:17,621 See, you just drop the keg next to the beer bong. 539 00:29:17,903 --> 00:29:19,353 All right, I'm done. 540 00:29:19,829 --> 00:29:23,418 - Dale, I need to beta test it. - Rusty, I'm not satan's joystick. 541 00:29:44,370 --> 00:29:46,173 Good morning, sunshine. 542 00:29:47,429 --> 00:29:49,319 Mom! We talked about knocking. 543 00:29:50,203 --> 00:29:52,822 I know. I was worried you were gonna be late for school. 544 00:29:53,341 --> 00:29:55,367 I didn't know you had company, or I would have... 545 00:29:55,856 --> 00:29:57,202 brought more lucky charms. 546 00:29:58,512 --> 00:30:01,043 Hi. We haven't been introduced. I'm Marie. 547 00:30:02,413 --> 00:30:03,644 Pretty name. 548 00:30:04,668 --> 00:30:07,544 Please, don't feel awkward. I've told Jonah if he's going to have sex, 549 00:30:07,664 --> 00:30:10,647 - I want him to have it under my roof. - Mother! 550 00:30:11,340 --> 00:30:13,885 Mother... That means it's time for me to make my exit. 551 00:30:14,201 --> 00:30:16,651 We're leaving for school in 20 minutes. 552 00:30:17,476 --> 00:30:18,500 20 minutes. 553 00:30:22,696 --> 00:30:24,446 You live with your mother? 554 00:30:24,846 --> 00:30:26,523 Yeah, just until I go to college. 555 00:30:26,979 --> 00:30:28,692 Wait... you're not in college? 556 00:30:29,385 --> 00:30:31,327 But I'm taking AP calculus. 557 00:30:32,055 --> 00:30:33,842 How old are you? 558 00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:36,217 I'll be 17 in two weeks. 559 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,788 Which reminds me... My mom's letting me have a party in the backyard. 560 00:30:39,908 --> 00:30:41,955 You should totally come. But I gotta warn you, 561 00:30:42,422 --> 00:30:43,957 she's insisting I have a piñata. 562 00:30:44,934 --> 00:30:45,934 Listen... 563 00:30:47,379 --> 00:30:49,321 I have to go... 564 00:30:49,913 --> 00:30:52,529 My mom could drop you off on the way to school. 565 00:30:53,118 --> 00:30:54,768 Really, I need to walk. 566 00:30:55,292 --> 00:30:58,096 - I crave my morning exercise. - Can I call you? 567 00:30:58,361 --> 00:31:00,043 Yes. In five years. 568 00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:12,417 - Are we off the hook? - We're still hooked. 569 00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:14,362 This sucks. What do we do now? 570 00:31:14,635 --> 00:31:16,057 Now we kick ass. 571 00:31:16,495 --> 00:31:18,975 Wait until they play Kappa Tau-Tris. 572 00:31:19,981 --> 00:31:21,631 You made the video game. 573 00:31:22,322 --> 00:31:24,853 - Pay up. - It still has a few bugs. 574 00:31:25,115 --> 00:31:28,168 Go ahead and turn it in, Spitter, and you can be the hero. 575 00:31:28,838 --> 00:31:30,694 And we... can go get fro-yo. 576 00:31:32,653 --> 00:31:35,508 I don't want to turn this in alone. This is our pledge class project. 577 00:31:36,580 --> 00:31:38,349 This is your pledge project. 578 00:31:38,469 --> 00:31:41,937 Just like you won beer pong and you rebuilt Vesuvius. 579 00:31:42,232 --> 00:31:44,191 And we are kinda over it. 580 00:31:44,467 --> 00:31:47,571 I don't wanna be the hero. I wanna be part of this pledge class. 581 00:31:47,691 --> 00:31:50,523 But I haven't had much experience being a team player. 582 00:31:50,795 --> 00:31:53,136 I was hoping maybe my brothers... 583 00:31:53,725 --> 00:31:55,236 could tell me how to do that. 584 00:31:58,410 --> 00:32:00,388 - Don't be so critical. - Don't showboat. 585 00:32:00,508 --> 00:32:02,901 - Don't call me Brad. - And help us 586 00:32:03,175 --> 00:32:06,383 brainstorm another project that we can all be a part of. 587 00:32:06,698 --> 00:32:07,698 Done. 588 00:32:09,154 --> 00:32:12,128 So what are some things every brother in the house enjoys? 589 00:32:13,142 --> 00:32:15,449 - Beer! - Reruns of cops. 590 00:32:16,264 --> 00:32:17,264 Chicks. 591 00:32:17,791 --> 00:32:19,177 We can build chicks! 592 00:32:20,353 --> 00:32:21,596 What's wrong with you? 593 00:32:23,613 --> 00:32:25,087 Casey, over here! 594 00:32:25,954 --> 00:32:28,304 I was hoping my big sis could make it. 595 00:32:29,888 --> 00:32:33,066 Aren't those the same clothes you were wearing last night? 596 00:32:35,762 --> 00:32:36,889 I'm concerned. 597 00:32:37,409 --> 00:32:39,920 Me too. About the environment. 598 00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:42,808 Which is why I like to wear all of my outfits 599 00:32:42,928 --> 00:32:44,678 twice before washing them. 600 00:32:44,944 --> 00:32:46,913 Water is the Earth's most precious gift. 601 00:32:48,131 --> 00:32:49,675 Excuse us a moment. 602 00:32:54,565 --> 00:32:56,965 At least one of us got our passport stamped last night. 603 00:32:57,249 --> 00:32:59,260 Jonah is 16. 604 00:33:02,781 --> 00:33:05,557 Isn't that illegal? You might be on to catch a predator. 605 00:33:05,850 --> 00:33:09,211 I saw Cappie and Rebecca making out and I lost it. 606 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,647 I got drunk, and I hooked up with some random guy. 607 00:33:12,889 --> 00:33:15,176 Correction. Random boy. 608 00:33:16,907 --> 00:33:18,329 The point is... 609 00:33:18,728 --> 00:33:22,678 I let it get to me, and that's exactly what I didn't want to happen. 610 00:33:28,995 --> 00:33:32,292 You're looking very straight today. You ready for the next lesson? 611 00:33:32,841 --> 00:33:35,530 You can't make me straight, all right? These lessons are useless. 612 00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:37,299 Listen, you can't lose faith, okay? 613 00:33:37,419 --> 00:33:39,883 Today's is the best of the bunch. All about attraction. 614 00:33:40,228 --> 00:33:43,402 Now just look at this parade of female flesh walking by us. 615 00:33:43,710 --> 00:33:45,847 - This is absurd. - Listen, you gotta learn 616 00:33:46,089 --> 00:33:49,277 to appreciate the female form, the... slope of the neck, 617 00:33:49,706 --> 00:33:51,250 curve of the back. 618 00:33:51,770 --> 00:33:53,320 The heft of the bosom. 619 00:33:53,930 --> 00:33:55,975 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 620 00:33:57,099 --> 00:33:59,149 Now, who do you find attractive? 621 00:34:03,668 --> 00:34:04,882 She's cute. 622 00:34:05,728 --> 00:34:09,378 See? She is attractive. I knew you'd have an instinct for this. 623 00:34:10,307 --> 00:34:13,708 What is she doing with him? She must like guys with personality. 624 00:34:15,610 --> 00:34:17,295 He doesn't look that hideous to me. 625 00:34:18,506 --> 00:34:21,174 - You find him attractive. - Well, he's got good bone structure. 626 00:34:21,575 --> 00:34:22,575 Wait. 627 00:34:23,309 --> 00:34:25,259 - It all makes sense. - What? 628 00:34:26,273 --> 00:34:29,136 Have you ever thought that the reason you're trying to turn me straight 629 00:34:29,256 --> 00:34:31,944 is because deep down inside... You might be gay? 630 00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:34,720 - Ridiculous. - Let's just look at the evidence. 631 00:34:34,957 --> 00:34:37,508 You don't have sex with women. You like to knit. You... 632 00:34:37,628 --> 00:34:39,378 Appreciate the male form. 633 00:34:39,587 --> 00:34:42,501 And I've seen you run. It's a little bit swishy. 634 00:34:43,393 --> 00:34:44,989 I don't like what you're implying. 635 00:34:45,474 --> 00:34:47,408 If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. 636 00:34:49,114 --> 00:34:51,464 Until then, you might wanna use this. 637 00:34:57,150 --> 00:34:59,770 The world is full of hot senator's daughters, right? 638 00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:02,578 That's the attitude. Dime a dozen, right? 639 00:35:03,407 --> 00:35:04,407 Come on. 640 00:35:05,245 --> 00:35:06,268 Come here. 641 00:35:09,927 --> 00:35:12,277 All right, I'll see you later, buddy. 642 00:35:21,419 --> 00:35:23,674 You're a good friend to Beav, Cap. 643 00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:26,781 I'm sorry I haven't been a very good friend to you. 644 00:35:28,059 --> 00:35:29,394 More friendly fire. 645 00:35:32,499 --> 00:35:36,328 Friends are supposed to warn each other when they're making mistakes. 646 00:35:36,448 --> 00:35:39,275 Look, I understand why you dislike Rebecca. 647 00:35:40,350 --> 00:35:43,256 - But I've seen a different side of her. - Rebecca only has one side, 648 00:35:43,376 --> 00:35:46,926 and it's covered in scales. She's just toying with you to drive me insane. 649 00:35:47,430 --> 00:35:49,762 So seeing me with someone else is driving you insane? 650 00:35:50,014 --> 00:35:51,540 Seeing you with her is. 651 00:35:52,321 --> 00:35:53,516 You and I are done. 652 00:35:53,956 --> 00:35:56,769 You made that very clear last semester. So why do you care? 653 00:35:57,043 --> 00:35:59,021 If you say it's because we're friends, I swear, 654 00:35:59,141 --> 00:36:01,816 I will vomit into your ridiculously small purse. 655 00:36:03,577 --> 00:36:05,427 I still care about you, Cap. 656 00:36:14,351 --> 00:36:15,701 I care about her. 657 00:36:16,730 --> 00:36:17,749 Really. 658 00:36:18,869 --> 00:36:20,162 Is it her winning smile 659 00:36:20,282 --> 00:36:23,505 or the fact that she's the one person on campus you knew would drive me crazy? 660 00:36:23,625 --> 00:36:25,465 What is it, exactly, you see in her? 661 00:36:27,475 --> 00:36:28,925 She likes me for me. 662 00:36:44,568 --> 00:36:47,590 First, we gave you the swing-a-ling, which ended with a broken Beaver. 663 00:36:49,060 --> 00:36:51,850 So today, we're going to heal him and this house 664 00:36:51,970 --> 00:36:54,556 - by giving you the thing he likes best. - You made chicks? 665 00:36:56,166 --> 00:36:57,166 Better. 666 00:36:59,357 --> 00:37:00,380 We made... 667 00:37:00,710 --> 00:37:03,519 beer with our brand-new brewery. 668 00:37:09,905 --> 00:37:12,714 I have not been this impressed 669 00:37:12,992 --> 00:37:15,160 since Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls. 670 00:37:16,096 --> 00:37:17,899 You totally came through! 671 00:37:18,506 --> 00:37:21,756 Let's have our president taste the first batch of beer. 672 00:37:22,286 --> 00:37:25,060 - We're calling it Cappie-weizen. - Nice touch. 673 00:37:25,501 --> 00:37:26,796 Let's let the love flow. 674 00:37:32,090 --> 00:37:34,483 - Is it clear beer? - Just wait. 675 00:37:57,877 --> 00:38:00,455 Silly me! This is not about how the beer tastes. 676 00:38:00,755 --> 00:38:03,079 This is about you guys working together! 677 00:38:03,547 --> 00:38:05,543 Brothers, let's hear it for our pledges! 678 00:38:10,678 --> 00:38:11,928 I'll drink that. 679 00:38:13,696 --> 00:38:16,922 - We're still working on the formula. - Way to go, Spitter. 680 00:38:17,042 --> 00:38:19,163 I just worked on the fermentation. 681 00:38:19,283 --> 00:38:21,133 Pickle's uncle imports hops, 682 00:38:21,659 --> 00:38:24,062 and Jake made these coasters. He's now known as... 683 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,705 - Woodchuck. - It's good. 684 00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:30,122 I mean, it's no Vesuvius, but... still. 685 00:38:33,495 --> 00:38:36,356 He really loves that volcano. He's just a little... 686 00:38:37,119 --> 00:38:38,247 Endearing. 687 00:38:38,905 --> 00:38:41,575 - Sure. - Look, I know Joe seems a bit crazy, 688 00:38:41,697 --> 00:38:44,207 but we've been though a lot. If it weren't for this house, 689 00:38:44,449 --> 00:38:47,591 we probably never would have even talked to each other. 690 00:38:47,711 --> 00:38:50,348 But that's the beautiful thing about brotherhood. 691 00:38:50,468 --> 00:38:52,983 It makes you bond with different people 692 00:38:53,249 --> 00:38:54,968 outside of your comfort zone. 693 00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:57,762 Speaking of bonding with different people... 694 00:38:58,004 --> 00:39:00,898 - We're making a pancake run to IHOP. - I'll be there in a second. 695 00:39:01,018 --> 00:39:04,243 - I'm just gonna finish... - Go celebrate. You've earned it. 696 00:39:18,856 --> 00:39:19,909 Spring cleaning? 697 00:39:20,174 --> 00:39:22,495 I'm removing every speck of gay from my life. 698 00:39:23,850 --> 00:39:25,689 - Tim McGraw. - His jeans are too tight. 699 00:39:25,809 --> 00:39:27,559 It draws the eye downward. 700 00:39:28,118 --> 00:39:30,341 You realize I was just joking, right? 701 00:39:30,461 --> 00:39:32,922 - You're not gay. - I know, but that's what you gays do. 702 00:39:33,174 --> 00:39:35,175 You indoctrinate. If I don't stay vigilant, 703 00:39:35,759 --> 00:39:38,136 sooner or later I could end up with my own Bravo TV show. 704 00:39:38,378 --> 00:39:40,763 That's ridiculous. No one can make you gay. 705 00:39:41,309 --> 00:39:43,725 Just like no one can make me straight. It's not a choice. 706 00:39:44,047 --> 00:39:45,226 I can't accept that. 707 00:39:46,632 --> 00:39:49,406 - Why not? - 'Cause it's not what I believe. 708 00:39:49,857 --> 00:39:53,109 Well, isn't that what college is for... Challenging our beliefs? 709 00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:56,275 Pretty sure it says that in the brochure. 710 00:39:57,708 --> 00:39:59,032 What do you want from me? 711 00:39:59,274 --> 00:40:02,979 I want you to accept that I'm gay and happy about it. 712 00:40:09,872 --> 00:40:11,831 All right. Accepted. 713 00:40:13,635 --> 00:40:14,658 Thank you. 714 00:40:18,906 --> 00:40:21,854 Next time, we're gonna talk about that flag, okay? 715 00:40:26,034 --> 00:40:27,784 Okay, Tim. You can stay. 716 00:40:39,646 --> 00:40:40,981 Nice tail lights! 717 00:40:46,038 --> 00:40:47,388 That's my sister. 718 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,050 We'll save you seats. 719 00:40:57,999 --> 00:41:01,849 Let's pretend that never happened and deal with it later in therapy. 720 00:41:04,394 --> 00:41:06,008 So where are you running to? 721 00:41:06,128 --> 00:41:08,508 Correct question is what am I running from? 722 00:41:08,628 --> 00:41:11,334 - What do you mean? - Cappie didn't tell you? 723 00:41:11,454 --> 00:41:14,125 - He's dating Rebecca Logan. - They're dating! 724 00:41:17,990 --> 00:41:19,932 Maybe we could put a hit on her. 725 00:41:20,052 --> 00:41:22,657 I think she regenerates like the Terminator. 726 00:41:24,405 --> 00:41:25,405 You okay? 727 00:41:27,194 --> 00:41:29,952 I know I don't have any claim on him. It's just... 728 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:34,080 Cappie's always been there for me. Deep down, I felt better knowing that. 729 00:41:35,333 --> 00:41:37,130 It's like a safety net. 730 00:41:37,837 --> 00:41:38,843 I guess so. 731 00:41:40,039 --> 00:41:41,384 And now he's gone, and... 732 00:41:42,727 --> 00:41:45,667 - It's scary. - Can I give you a piece of advice? 733 00:41:48,174 --> 00:41:50,586 The reason people get scared 734 00:41:51,351 --> 00:41:55,131 when their safety net is gone is that they begin to doubt themselves. 735 00:41:55,251 --> 00:41:58,609 They think they can't do what they did before because that net's not there. 736 00:41:59,004 --> 00:42:01,398 I'm just saying that I wish I was as good as you are 737 00:42:01,518 --> 00:42:03,448 walking the tightrope that is college. 738 00:42:04,431 --> 00:42:06,681 You're really into this net analogy. 739 00:42:07,223 --> 00:42:10,173 - If you fall... - If you say I will catch you... 740 00:42:10,469 --> 00:42:11,831 This conversation is over. 741 00:42:12,828 --> 00:42:15,186 That's fine. I'm late for pancakes. 742 00:42:15,984 --> 00:42:16,984 Thanks. 743 00:42:20,248 --> 00:42:21,248 Wait up. 744 00:42:28,175 --> 00:42:29,215 Running. 745 00:42:29,646 --> 00:42:31,768 Good idea. You were looking a little puffy. 746 00:42:34,935 --> 00:42:36,513 Listen, Rebecca, 747 00:42:37,390 --> 00:42:39,616 even though I question your motives, 748 00:42:39,736 --> 00:42:43,237 I'm staying out of your relationship with Cappie. I want no part of it. 749 00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:45,997 Sounds like you're moving on. Good for you. 750 00:42:46,117 --> 00:42:48,368 I mean, really... It's been two years. 751 00:42:52,356 --> 00:42:54,176 Just... one more... 752 00:42:54,385 --> 00:42:55,385 thing. 753 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,783 If you hurt him, 754 00:42:58,425 --> 00:42:59,656 I will hurt you. 755 00:43:01,966 --> 00:43:05,035 This is what big sis, little sis week is all about.